Desires in a social world

Sometimes I get caught up in this convoluted mix of thoughts and feelings revolving around a desire to “Be myself” without question, and “be myself” within a world that implicitly &/or explicitly demands ways of being to live up to. Whether it’s physical appearance and ability, intelligence and education, type of living quarters or profession, the friends I keep and the way my relationships should look and even what I eat and how I eat it. Just to mention a few. There is “evidence” everywhere that supports everyone’s view and shames or disproves everyone else’s.

The clash of opposing beliefs and thoughts creates a storm in me at times. As I work through this mess, I receive glimpses of Self without the mess. I look very easy and effortless. I receive moments of clarity, and in those moments I notice how useless and unnecessary a lot of these layers of being I mentioned earlier are to my happiness and my authentic being living on this planet. This makes me question what I really want in my life. It makes me want to love myself for all of who and what I am. It makes me want to love my body and the way I look. It makes me want to enjoy food for what it is without hurting myself in the process. I want to look in the mirror and love what I see. I want to hear myself speak and love what I say, how I sound and where it leads. It makes me want to work and be okay with where I am in my professional development. All these wants make me want to allow all of these layers to develop effortlessly and absent of guilt for not being where I think I want to be. It makes me question whether where I want to be is because I really want to be there or because I’ve been trained to think I want it.

Today is not the first time I’ve cleared up the mess and asked these questions. In fact, I’ve become much much better at knowing what is important to me and trusting my higher-self to guide me through my existence. I live in a human world and I don’t pretend that I will one day not be influenced by my human condition while I’m still living a human life. It has gotten easier to listen to my own voice and my own heart with more clarity. Moments of contrast and stormy weather make me appreciate the sunny days more and my alignment more. Contrasting moments help me sort out what I really want. It makes me realise that although I compare myself less to my society than I used to, I still do sometimes. And I know which feels better. It inspires me to trust myself more, for I know more than I think I know. Love and acceptance is my way forward in this human world. Love and love is what I have to offer in the world. Love and Love is my legacy. In love, I am fearless. In love, all is well.

Thank you for listening. Be your Love in the world #beyourlove


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